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 In Part I, I covered being in the zone or what Csíkszentmihályi called flow. Before I describe the zone more completely and how it relates to music, let's talk about what it's like when I'm NOT in the zone.
Here's the worst case scenario. I'm either not sure what's expected of me, or if I do know, I'm frustrated because I don't have the skills to meet the expectations. I'm unable to concentrate on the task at hand. My mind has no focus. I'm even thinking about things that have nothing to do with the music I'm trying to play. I'm barely skimming the surface and have no appreciation for the depth of what's before me. The passage of time is painfully slow. My brain is crying out for an end to the attempt. I'm almost completely discouraged by the fact that what I'm trying to do is too difficult for me. I'm not in control of the music. There is very little, if any, good feeling from what I'm doing. I can't wait to stop. OK, it's almost never that bad, but it's been real close. Most of the time, when I'm not in the zone, I'm experiencing at least a couple of the above. Asking me to play my diatonic, without preparation, with a famous Jazz group on the David Letterman show, might constitute the worst case scenario described above. Here's the truth. I have spent the last couple years feeling less and less like I'm in the zone. I'm worried about bills, my business skills, being a good husband, being a good father, teaching effectively, and impressing the concert audience. My wife even commented that, on stage, I seem to be enjoying the music less and less. When I realized all this, I decided to do something about it. Worrying doesn't help a thing. How am I stopping? If each day is generally characterized by efforts to improve in the areas I worry about, I notice I'm not worrying nearly as much, sometimes not at all. I can trust God about it and know progress is being made. When I have to perform or teach in the zone, I'm free to focus completely on whatever I'm currently doing. I'm thinking almost nothing of the past or future. I'm concentrating on the now, unless I've got the seemingly endless commentary running in my head. The constant commentary usually goes something like: "You don't even know what tune to play next." "Don't play that." "You better make this cool." "I'm not warmed up and my fingers aren't working!" "I know I'm going to mess this next part up." "They're tired of these same old tunes." I could go on and on. It's a constant, negative barrage of destructive and discouraging comments, with the sometimes, but almost never, semi-positive statement. It's really impossible to play in the zone with these kind of thoughts going on. How am I combating this? In part II, I'll cover preparation and mindfulness. |